March 12, 2017

Grief, Acceptance, and Deja Vu

I haven't written in a while. Expressing coherent thoughts has been very difficult the last three months. And I've been going through the same freaking grief cycle yet again. I get sicker, I lose parts of my life, I can't accept it but have to live with it. Rinse and repeat.

Making gains means any subsequent loss has already been processed, right? Hahaha, no. It's more grief, this time with the fun twist of knowing what the future holds.

I'm getting too dizzy to continue so I'll sign off. Life feels exhausting right now. Maybe by morning I'll forget how far removed this is from the norm. Denial is a big coping skill.


  1. I hope the sun shines on you today and you find sweetness in the air you breathe. You are not alone. I hold you in my heart.

  2. It's been 8 months and today, for some unexplainable reason, I feel my husband is right here, stronger than I've ever felt. I can smell him, his deodorant, body spray. I stepped outside and felt it there smells like I'm baking in the house, but I haven't baked anything since my grandson's birthday (july). Am I going crazy? I can't accept that my dear old poop is gone.....forever


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