June 27, 2017

One more thing x 10²³

I saw my PCP yesterday for a physical. She noticed a heart murmur, one that definitely wasn't there during a cardiac workup in 2014. So it's back to radiology for another echocardiogram which at least is a cool and painless test. I'm super glad to be seeing Awesome Rheumy in 9 days (yep, I'm counting) rather than continuing to free fall without a rheumatologist or treatment.

I spent much of the last two days emotionally confused. Heart damage is not good, even a just a little bit. But this feels like a solidly Real Symptom that may help with an SLE diagnosis. And that would lead to greater treatment options, including clinical trials if I run out of new meds to try. Evidence that my borked immune system is winning is still tough to handle. But chronic illness has honed my ability to quickly adapt and accept, and that I have!

Sunday was a gorgeous hot day, the kind we rarely get and even more rarely can truly enjoy. My mom and I went to Mt Rainier and gawked at the views. I totally crashed on the way back and slept in the back seat. But seizing the day was worth it!



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