September 17, 2017

Another one bites the dust

I am once again a single woman. After stringing me along for months and lying about his feelings and intentions, finally on Friday Sweetie just...let go. He was not stronger than his fears, especially when he started believing the lies depression told him. I'm still in shock but friends have had many kind words and that helps a lot.

Cat litter calls: feel free to admire my breakup yarn while you wait.

I forget how weak many people are and how scared they are of love. Love is the reason I get up in the morning. It's what gives my life meaning and joy. Love makes my heart sing even when tears are falling.

I realize I cannot rely on the fickle nature of romantic attachments for my future. What I truly long for is community and family. There have to be local families who would love an honorary aunt. To that end I'm going to start attending a community church on Sunday evenings. It's a bit of a trek and previously had conflicted with my support group meetings then softball spectating (ugh!). But now is the time. Maybe this is an unattainable goal but all my goals seem out of reach so why not aim for the stars?


3 comments:

  1. I'm so sorry to hear that. :( but you are also right that you can't rely on romance. It's one of those things that's nice to have, but life has to be worth it without it. I hope you have some luck with the community church!

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  2. I'm so sorry--I hope that the space he took up in your life will be filled with a larger, more enduring love. Courage!

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  3. Sending good wishes and healing thoughts your way. How wise to look for connection in other ways. I look forward to an update!

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