Someday

On the hardest days I imagine an afterlife, free from pain and loneliness.


Someday I'll take a trip.  A fabulous trip, far from familiar sights and sounds.  The kind of trip you spend a lifetime dreaming of but never think will happen.  At the end of the journey I arrive in a village of everyone I've ever loved.  There isn't a rush of hellos, just a quiet walk as I meet every loved one who traveled before me.  At the edge of the village, a cottage of my own, with a bee loud glade and flowers blooming around every corner.

The first afternoon I climb the highest mountain, easy as cresting a hill, and view the whole valley crumpled below like the lines on my palm.  Winds gust up the mountain peaks and I fall into one, riding it down to the green valley.  I lie in a sunny field among high grasses and wildflowers, soaking in the warmth.  Every happy summer day that came before was but a shadow of this pleasure.  Butterflies dance along my arms and perch on my hair to wish hello. As the sun sets an evening barbeque awaits, and bottles of cold lemonade are passed around, hot buttery ears of corn nibbled, and ribs cover everyone's face with sticky-spicy-sweet sauce.  The sun sets as a band begins playing and we all dance for hours under the full moon.  Our feet never tire or misstep. The moon sets and fireflies appear as we murmur to sleep on the soft green lawn.  A mother sings a lullaby and we all become her child.

New Project

My friend Laura at Dragon Wing Arts designed the pattern for my latest knitting project, an Outlander-inspired bulky shawl.  It's a perfect quick, portable knit.  Between the Tulpenkraz lace, and the Bohus-inspired sweater which I have yet to calculate stitch counts for, my projects are very ambitious.  Add a week-long cold to the mix and this shawl is perfect.

I pulled out some burgundy singles yarn, formerly most of a baby sweater but I think the recipient is about to start college!  I'm about 1/3 finished and it's working up well.  The lace edges will show more once it's blocked.

Marysville

Hey, so part of today was horrible.  There was a school shooting north of Seattle, another one.  I actually saw the medevac helicopter fly over my apartment, on its way to Harborview.  Somehow that just makes it worse.

I wish people would stop hurting each other.  Isn't there enough pain and heartache in the world without adding to it?  I'm not very coherent in my sadness, but I feel it's still important to say something.

I listened to some beautiful string music tonight, with new friends.  That part was very nice.

Happy Humira Tuesday!

This morning FedEx delivered my first dose of Humira.  A large box arrived with a styrofoam cooler, dry ice, and an surprisingly small box of 2 Humira injector pens.  And so much paperwork to send back to the specialty pharmacy, ugh.  Don't breathe in the dry ice, kids, it can kill you (fun fact: the body regulates breathing based on CO2, not O2).

I'll use one injection every other week, and won't expect to feel any change for at least a couple weeks.  I'm an old hand with injector pens, after years of Imitrex, so that part's easy.

And next month, just in time for Halloween, I'll get another delivery.  Maybe I'll be feeling well enough to carve a cool Jack O' Lantern, or find some other fun use for the dry ice.

Knitting in my DNA

Or rather, my DNA in my knitting!  My hair is now long enough that stray strands are knit into my work, especially the blanket.  I wonder what a future owner might conclude about me by my hair or DNA.  I did a little mental auto-anthropology when this came to mind ;)

The blanket so far

I've almost finished the blanket's fourth column of six squares, which leaves the fifth and last column plus the border.  It may get a simple dark grey edging, or something fancier like a color blocked rainbow border.  We shall see.  I'm also waiting on more light grey yarn, which is backordered, and hoping the dye lots match well enough.  With autumn weather having arrived, I was snuggled under it today while knitting.  Nice and warm.

With a cat for scale

The color placement should look more even and random once the last column is on.  I hope...