My grandfather died yesterday. I'm a bit of a wreck--OK one minute, crying the next. I don't know whether I'll be able to make the memorial this weekend, for the usual health/pain reasons. Moments like this I hate my life more than usual.
I loved my grandpa, and still do, but I didn't know him very well. I grew up across the country and he had pretty strict gender roles and mostly let my grandma talk. He was fun and warm and a wonderful man. The last couple years he had dementia. I saw him last summer and knew it was goodbye. He's removed from suffering and with family and friends, and I'm grateful for that. But he'll be missed, so so much.